March chaos but it's still February....

Well now I don't even know where to begin. I started writing this post on Tuesday. Last Tuesday. Then our modem died and we had to wait for it to be replaced. Once it was replaced, the router quit working immediately. Once the router was replaced, all hell broke loose.

Physically and mentally, I've been trying to go with the flow. Some days are good, some days are total write offs and I'm lucky to do anything. But others are better. Mid morning and early afternoon seem to be when I have the most energy. Part of that is my medication which makes me tired, once I am able to get off of it, I am sure I will have more energy but for now, it's needed. I'm grateful for the better times of the day, and I'm trying to be more compassionate with myself when I need to rest or am hurting, but that's hard.. I had a few days this past week I was up and able to do things, but I had a few days that I'm not really sure how I survived. A lot of my trouble now is a mixture of things, I have other issues, two that have happened since surgery (we don't know why yet) and one we hoped we'd fix, but we didn't, although surgery helped me make progress. So the process continues and I try to learn to listen to my body better and accept it for it's weaknesses as well as it's strengths which is a very hard thing to do. This time last year I was in more pain but my body was stronger, I'm really amazed at how weak I am still right now and how quickly my body reacts to activity. But it will take time to gain my energy back to the level I am used to.



Wednesday started off normal enough. The weather was decent....



Brie was acting normal...



So was Bulrush...



and Barnaby....

Come evening I was just lying down and getting ready to rest when Jim came running into the house to tell me Brie was kidding. 

I had been up to the barn earlier and hadn't noticed anything odd. I have been watching Dahila my Pygmy goat closely because I had noticed a week ago that she looked a lot more pregnant than she should. September and October are pretty hazy to me because of how sick I was, and I don't remember much of anything. I did happen to write on my calender on Sept 20th the words "Dahlia bred?" So that was alarming and would explain why she looked more pregnant than I thought she should. I did not put the buck with the does until Mid October. 

Brie kidded early last year and had no milk. Her doeling passed away that night because she wasn't even totally developed and the buckling, Morty, I managed to keep alive for a couple of weeks before he broke my heart. So I had been worried about Brie this year - but she had bagged up this year, which was a very good sign. 

I rushed up to the barn - running. My body wasn't thrilled but I ran with that burst of energy that comes whenever your adrenaline kicks in. When I got to the barn there was a head and a couple of hooves coming out. I helped the baby come out, and I got his airway cleared. He was a tough little guy, trying to stand up almost instantly. I could see he was healthy. Brie got up and started cleaning him right away so I quickly backed off. It was the first time Jim had ever seen a kid born so he was very excited.

I was thrilled to see Brie cleaning her baby - she didn't do that last year (it was her first kidding last year.) And I didn't want to interfere. It's a fine line knowing when you must interfere and when you should not. It's one I've been learning with experience to trust myself when to cross and when to not. My gut told me to back off. About 5 or so minutes later the second kid came quickly out. He was 1/2 the size of the first. He couldn't breathe, so I put my finger gently in his mouth, cleared his nose and got the fluids away and he started breathing and opened up his eyes. I could see right away he was very weak compared to the first kid.

I gave Brie some time to clean her babies and I watched and waited. After a while, the first kid was on his feet and the second was a little more alert so I knew it was time. I cleared the plugs from Brie's teats and got the milk flowing, and there was milk... thank heavens.. the thick beige colostrum that makes or breaks a kids chance at life, was plentiful. I helped both kids nurse for the first time, which #1 did with vigor. #2 was very weak, he had a hard time but he was feisty, biting and pulling, so his spirit was strong.

I don't have babies in Feb here. Never. Brie kidded in Feb last year, almost a month early but not because she was bred early. I always breed the girls to have kids mid March-till early April, if I can help it. I came inside to warm up once both kids had nursed. It's important to let mom bond with them - and for them to bond with her and not me. #1 who I had already named in 60 seconds of birth, Valentino, was following me around, which is very cute, but I'm not his mom. It's hard when they are so fragile and precious and you just want to swoop them up in your arms and protect them from everything, but it doesn't always work that way, sometimes you offer more harm even though you do not mean to.

While I was in the house I was talking to Jim about how confused I was. Why did I tell him to put the buck with the does in September? I swore I had not told him to until mid October? Finally all three of us remembered - actually I think Kevin remembered first...

Barnaby jumped the fence in Sept - and after that we kept him away from the does until October, but he jumped that fence one time. That's all it takes.

He got three out of 4 girls that time too. 

The night was long. Thankfully I did not need a flashlight on the way to the barn - the moon lit my path well for me.

I went back to the barn repeatedly and Vinnie, the weaker kid was not looking good but nursing as long as I held him up. I did everything I could for him, and then as hard as it is, I just let it go, and I just prayed to that moon. I prayed that if he was meant to survive he find the strength, and I trusted in nature that whatever would be, would be.

I hardly slept.

When I got to the barn in the morning the first thing I saw was that Beatrice, who lives next door to Brie, had broken into her pen because she wanted to see the babies. The second thing I noticed was both babies were lying together by the gate. Both asleep. Both alive. When they saw me looking down at them, they both woke up and Valentino got up and started looking for milk instantly. Vinnie tried to get up but was too wobbly. But he crawled over to mom, looking for milk. I took Bea out of the pen and then just stood back to watch. Brie kicked the babies, knocked them over, and ran away from them. Not good. I sighed and I waited. She did it again. I stood there for 10 minutes and then - Brie let Valentino nurse. Good. Vinnie was having a heck of a time remembering where the milk comes from. He was looking in all the wrong places. I wanted to run in there and show him, but I waited... and all by himself, he found the teat, and he drank. I breathed a big sigh of relief.

But by noon Vinnie was shaking and too weak to hold his head up. I had to interfere. I brought him to the house and got him warm, gave him a ton of TLC and offered him milk in a bottle which he mostly refused.





It turned into a very long night. I had been sick all day with a headache and worse fatigue than usual - some days the fatigue never lifts, some days I get a bit of energy. In the early evening a full blown migraine hit and I became physically ill with the pain. This is the second time this has happened in a month. The medication I am on reacts badly with everything known to man so we didn't know what to do. I tried to ride it out and I just got sicker and sicker and the pain became unbearable. I was ready to go to the ER although I didn't know how I'd make it that far. Thankfully Vinnie slept peacefully by the fire. Kevin was able to get a hold of a Doctor on call in Georgia - you can't talk to Doctors here, and he was able to speak to me and tell me what to do, what I could take and how to handle the situation. That was a huge blessing. Once we got the pain semi under control, I walked to the livingroom which was all a blur and picked Vinnie up and got him to drink a small amount of milk. He was able to stand after being in the house, but he was still not doing well.

Jim and Kevin also let me know that while I was sick, Dahlia kidded, and everyone was fine. Dahlia is an amazing mom and Pygmy goats - no matter the size are tough as they come. Those little buggers drop to the ground and are raring to go. Every Saanen kid I've had has been not always weak but always very delicate compared to the Pygmy kids or even the Alpines.

Vinnie slept all night right next to our bed. In the morning he refused to take a decent amount of milk so I took him back to his mom. It was his only chance. I had him warm, he was standing now, and he had peed and had a healthy poo in the night. Mom was hesitant to let him nurse but I forced her, so he'd get food. Throughout the day we watched them like hawks and although Brie isn't a very loving mother, compared to some, she was letting the boys nurse.

Today, both Brie's boys, Vinnie and Valentino are doing real with mom. Little Vinnie is still so small and fragile but he's so strong of spirit and he's even playing. Both boys were mouthing hay today and nursing well.

It's such a relief. You try not to get attached instantly but it's kind of hard not to. For me, it's impossible. But I do understand well the circle of life, nature, and that sometimes it's not meant to be. But sometimes, that new life just needs a little bit of a helping hand.

Hello, Valentino!



Look at that face....



Dahlia had two bucklings which I expected since last year she gave me three little girls. They are absolutely darling and one is even chocolate! And they are doing amazing, Dahlia is very attentive to her kids and loving and they get everything they need.



The little guys came out and were dried off, fluffy and fat with milk right away...



They already are mouthing hay too, and so full of energy....



How can you not instantly melt when you look at this face??

My dairy goat Biscuit is very, very, close to kidding. I thought she'd go yesterday but she didn't and I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. This morning not much has changed. She's close, but so far no baby. So another watchful day is ahead today....

We are expecting more snow Tuesday, then rain, but soon it will be maple syrup time...very soon... probably earlier than usual again (which has been the trend the past couple of years, it's common the sap runs in Feb here now)...



We've got quite a bit of snow, which makes it hard to work in the bush, but it does raise hopes for a good sap run this year... the trees need the snow, just like the pastures do...



The boys have been happy that we've been able to walk a little more, thanks to the sunshine returning...



But they can't leave the paths because the snow is too deep, which frustrates Rollie who loves to explore and chase squirrels...

Today I am very tired. I'm bracing myself for Biscuits kid, which hopefully comes healthy... and soon...