It's the middle of January?

First of all, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your messages about Sammy. I considered not publishing my post about him, and just mentioning in passing that it happened in some other post, even though it was a very big thing. I've been very open at times on my blog and shared a lot of my deeper feelings, but for some reason writing about him so openly, made me uncomfortable. But I realized closing off the feelings wouldn't be productive either. So I thank each of you for following a long on this journey with me, whether it be happy or sad.

I haven't looked at his pen or even been near it. Jim cleaned it for me but I've yet to decide someone else can use it (he had one of the biggest pens) or that I can even step inside of it. To be honest in some ways I've accepted it's just a fact of life and it's something that has come to pass, but part of me is also blocking the entire thing out. I feel pretty spent right now, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But if I've learned anything it's that I need to remind myself constantly to take one day at a time and one thing at a time... 

The past week has been a complete blur. We've had so many things on the go all at once. I was able to take a short break on the weekend to get some knitting in but it wasn't long enough. Then our router (the 1,000th one) died on us, and I haven't been able to use my laptop. Douglas went back to the Vet for the booster of his lyme vaccine and is doing great, which is the best news ever. He's not only back to his old self, he's even better. He's feeling better than he has in ages. When I've been up working I've been working on candles, lip balms, and lotion bars. I finally have all the needed ingredients to try my hand at my first batch of goats milk soap too, once I find the energy and time. My meds make me tired, but also give me more energy because they make the pain a lot more manageable so it's a funny combo. But it gives me usually a few good hours everyday. I feel some healing taking place and I can for sure look back now over the past 6 months and see the progress and there has been a lot of it.

I've had fun trying to find just the right packaging, it's still an ongoing process.



I'm hoping to get a few more candles made this weekend. This one is off to Maine tomorrow :)

I haven't been able to get to the bush at all which is so unusual for me, and also for Kevin. Thankfully he has Jim here to help him in the bush but it's very strange us not logging together. We both miss it and I look forward to getting back to it.



Kevin is very happy with our new logging sled that was handmade by an Amish fellow we met on our travels..



They had it out logging one day and it works great.

Kevin brought me back some pictures from his travels in the bush...



he was lucky enough to see the Owl...



and also the cutest baby porcupine which I think he should have brought back to the house... is that not just the cutest thing?



He also caught some evening pictures...



some beautiful pictures...



That only winter could give us.



It did warm up here for a few days, just long enough to melt the top layer of snow and expose all the ice. This is just part of the lane. It's pretty hard to drive around and also, walk. We were hoping if it was going to warm up it would all melt, and a lot did, but not quite enough.

This is one unusual winter here on the farm. We have no deer. It's the strangest winter we've had and a little lonely when we are used to having deer bedding down all around the house every single winter. We have not seen a deer since Christmas Eve. Because of the ice, especially the layer of ice we've had covering the snow, it's almost impossible for the deer to move around so they have all went places to yard up. Unfortunately a lot of deer in this area have done that near roads and there are more deer than usual getting hit by cars right now. It's been a very hard winter on them. If we could get some snow now, and loose some ice, it would be to every one's benefit.



But the Chihuahua's are fine, and spending these long winter days beside the wood stove in a sunbeam.