Home sweet home

I cannot even begin to tell you how happy we are to be home, but maybe I don't need to. I think a lot of you understand. We had a nice trip to Toronto, busy, but it was great to be able to see some of my wonderful friends and my family as well. I had a positive meeting with the specialist - but it's going to require more trips to Toronto, which I'm not looking forward to and is a huge ordeal for us, however - he's offered me a few options that might lead to improvement in my day to day life - one which I'm very hopeful about. So I feel quite positive about it right now. He understood more what I was telling him (than my others Doctors) and he made that clear by the things he is doing to investigate further which step will be our best. And I appreciate that even though he is a surgeon, his last resort is more surgery, which mine is too. I'd rather not go back down that path, not right now and not unless I'm left with no other choice. 

In a month or so we'll have to go back down and see a different specialist because finally we might have come up with where my largest amount of pain might be coming from - and he may be able to help that. 

Elm Street downtown Toronto

dessert at an Italian restaurant 

Otherwise our trip was stressful because there is just not one part of me that is made for the city - Kevin either. It's all foreign to me and not in a good way. People are different and some people love that kind of pace and way of life and environment... and that's fine too, a lot of people could not deal with living on a farm or out in the bush, or with the isolation we have... but I hate everything about the city and I would rather live in a wooden shack in the middle of nowhere than be forced to live in any large city - or small one for that matter. Heck, I couldn't even handle town at this point. There was a time when the city was overwhelming to me, but I could navigate it if I had to, and it was exciting to see all these things coming from the country, but now, I just feel trapped and if Kevin wasn't there I'd never have found my way around safely, or completely lost my mind. 

Waking up at home this morning was heaven. The dogs woke me up by starring at me and moving in slowly, preparing to pounce... then as soon as I made the slightest move, the licking started. I asked them how come they only wake me up and not their dad. They wake him up too but only after they have been taken outside, said good morning to me, had breakfast, burped, had a drink, then they wake him up. I guess they know mom is the one who takes them out and dishes up the goods so they need me first. However kind woman that I am, I closed the bedroom and let Kevin sleep more after we all got up. 

 I took the dogs outside in the sunshine (it feels like spring) and there were deer passing by, Wild turkeys walking around and birds singing - that's all I heard. No people, no cars,  no lights, no rush. I breathed it all in, said good morning to Max & Flav and headed back inside for a bit.

Back in the house, I opened the damper on the wood stove and threw a couple more sticks of wood on the fire which was still going from last night, and set about grinding some fresh hazelnut cream coffee beans for the best cup of coffee I've had in days. This is home and I am so grateful for it.

After we had coffee and breakfast I headed up to the barn. Everyone was so happy to wake up to sunshine outside and lots of kisses. Beatrice soaked her beard while having a big morning drink. 

Max looks exactly like a bandit in this picture. 

Here comes two of the pregnant girls looking very ah... round. 

Bulrush: Hi mom! Can I have another kiss?

Sammy eating breakfast

Brina: mmm, this is an especially tasty piece of hay! 

Biscuit: I'm on to you lady and I don't appreciate these sporadic winter trips... and I expect presents, where are my presents?

Bulrush: You must have missed me so much! 

Then me and Douglas took a ride in the ATV down to our porcupine creek, about 1/2 mile from the house. He loves riding in the ATV, he jumps right in, climbs on the seat, sits beside me and positions himself so that my arm can go underneath his chest and then he wraps his arm around mine to hold on while leaning into the crook of my arm. 

I wasn't sure at first if the creek was solid but when we went to leave I found out I couldn't back the ATV up because of the ice, so I had no choice but to go forward, across the creek. It was a rough ride but me and Douglas got across it, turned around, and got back on the main trail. 

A little while later I needed to go out and find some new sticks for the Prairie dogs to chew on so I decided it would be good for the boys to get out. Norman was busy lying in the sun but when I asked him if he wanted to come, he was all for it. So off we all went. 

Douglas: Is the baby supposed to be coming? 

It was Rollie's very first serious walk out of the yard so it was a bit of a shock to Douglas. 

Norman following the trail 

I decided to detour on the way to the maples and look for antlers along the way in a few places I know the deer bed down... My little explorers were helping me look. 

Rollie: All clear over here mom! 

Rollie: I'll go this way, you check over there Douglas!

Rollie following his big brother Norman 

Is that a Pug? 

Douglas: Hurry up Rollie, let's go!

Hmmm who's been peeing here... 

Rollie: Should we pee on that bush? 

Hold up Douglas, I'm coming!

My partner Norman... he never leaves my side. 

Guess who was the first to come away from the wild turkey poop when mom called? and who was the last?

Rollie: oh mom! I love this exploring stuff. I feel like such a big dog!

We have to go this way Douglas, come, I'll show you the way!

I found a few good maple sticks to bring home to the Prairie dogs. They chew and eat the sticks so it cannot be just any stick, maple is safe for them.

Rollie did amazing, he never ran off and never went away from me. He did great. It was a lot of fun walking with all three of the boys and with Rollie fitting in so well. My heart swelled about three sizes looking behind me and seeing them following single file with big smiles and wagging tails. 

Back at home, Olive came to check out the new sticks... 

After a couple of nibbles she approved. 

Then the dogs passed out from the big expedition. 

It really wore the baby out... for a while. Then his batteries recharged. 

When the sun started going down I started preparing to head back to the barn for evening chores. The Wild turkeys were coming across the ice for their evening snack and... 

Norman promised to keep the fire going for me so it would be warm when I returned. 

I roasted a chicken for dinner and we are now tired, warm, and full.

I am so grateful to be back at the farm with our family. There is no place else I'd rather be.