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By this kid.

Biscuit kidded on Wednesday, a beautiful, beautiful, little doeling, which was the stuff of my dreams. I have been dreaming about a sweet little doeling from her since October... and Wed morning when I went up to the barn with Jim to check on Biscuit, there was this little beauty, screaming at the top of her lungs.

I've mentioned many times that my Alpine doe, Biscuit, hates kids, especially hers. She refuses to nurse them and in fact tries to kill them as soon as they drop, which is why I put her in a kidding pen they can escape from in case I am not there. Biscuit has given me many nice kids, and she supplies us with tons of milk for the baby, for soap, for cheese... she is an amazing goat, even though she is moody and has low tolerance around children... I have to forgive her because in some ways she is like the goat version of me.

Once I got the little girl dried off, I milked Biscuit, and got the baby home where it was warm. I got her to take the bottle and then went back to make sure Biscuit was OK, to clean her stall (she does not clean up after herself like most mothers) and to tend to her.

This is my first ever Alpine/Pygmy kid from Biscuit. Biscuit has always been bred to my Saanen buck, and at one time my Boer. This little girl, whom I've been calling Lavender, is so full of life, she's fluffy, she's healthy, she's got a lot of Pygmy in her, but a lot of her mom too, which is just perfect. If my wildest dreams come true, she'll be a smaller version of Biscuit someday and be my milker when it's time for Biscuit to retire.

I am in the midst of my better week of the month, when I have issues and pain but it's manageable. The other day I felt semi normal, except exhausted. Everything I do is limited and in slow motion and I have pain... But I've had less pain and I keep reminding myself "hey, hey! guess what isn't screaming right now!" It's nice to have a little peace and quiet.

It's been so frustrating to have my body continue to fight me. To not know what to expect from one day to the next, to not be able to fully do the things I love, or even the things I have to. But none of that matters because we'll find a way through this, even if it's the hard way. I do have to look inside myself for a lot of strength to focus on the positive right now, a lot of self talk, meditation... those things are very important for anyone when facing any painful, frustrating, and especially, isolating, challenge. We have to be our biggest supporter, and that's something I've been learning the hard way, trust me. The other day something was hurting me and I reminded myself something else was not, so hey, I have to take those small victories where I can get them right now and I'm very glad I've been able to do more. Aside from running around cleaning up after a baby goat and feeding her, (although she is amazing and sleeps THROUGH the night! It's unreal!) I've had my hands full milking now and taking on more of my responsibilities. My energy is ridiculously limited, especially mentally right now, but I'm grateful for what I have. I'm also grateful the sunshine is returning! Right now the guys are out tapping trees. It's still too cold for the sap to run, but it will be coming. Yesterday Kevin and I put out a few test taps around the sugar shack and we are getting ready, there is a chance the run might be short this year so we need to catch it while we can. I was hoping to go with them but I'm way too tired, I spent my energy working in the barn and around the house.

I have some coffee bean lotion bars cooling right now and I've made all new labels for my crafts. I'm sitting in my kitchen chair right now because I can't stand long enough, and Lavender and Douglas are asleep right under my feet.

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Rollie is only excited about the goat being in the house because he likes eating 1) hay, and 2) goat poop and that's the truth.

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My first milk of the year! I'm drooling over it. For now, it's for the baby, but I can almost taste the cheese I'll be making later already...

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It's still been cold but the sun has been out more, and that makes us all a lot happier. Max is happy to see me coming up to the barn more often, it's been a long seven months...

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It's too cold to let the mamas and babies outside yet - so they have playtimes in the barn with the Pygmy kids from last year... which the kids love, but the mama's not so much...

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The Pygmies just love, love, climbing... it's their favorite thing to do...

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Firefly, and also Aurora and Puffin, love the new kids, they are kinda fun to play with.

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Puffin will be a year old in May and isn't much bigger than the 3 week old boys! She likes bossing them around. Actually, she likes bossing everyone around for that matter...

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The little boys are growing fast...

Even Vinnie our little weakling is getting a belly and he's growing up, which is such a relief to me, for a while I thought he wasn't going to make it. He's doing just great. Last year was a tough year here with kids and it was exhausting. So far we have five healthy and happy kids which makes me a very happy girl. Beatrice, my last doe, does appear to be starting to bag up but she won't kid until April. So we are all done until then. I have a feeling she'll have a boy too, since she had a girl last year, which will leave us with five boys and only one girl this year, but as long as they are healthy, that's what matters most!

I have more pictures to share but I've been trying to get this post up for ages, so I wanted to make sure I did today. Come evening lately I've just been too tired. I'm terribly behind on my emails and I haven't been able to catch up on anything lately. But I'm hopeful in time this too shall pass.

While I was milking Biscuit the other day, I felt that woman inside of me stir, that woman who has been quiet for so long because she has had to be. I felt, hopeful, and more like myself than I have in probably close to a year. It was a nice glimpse of her, and hopefully she's in the process of waking up from her slumber, slowly, but surely.


jaz@octoberfarm said…
this is all so wonderful! what a cutie pie! glad to hear your inner rumblings are back. i think that is a very good sign.
Dee said…
What a cute baby. Please stay strong and fight this pain.
Willow said…
Congrats on your newest little beauty !
What a beautiful little doeling! I am also glad to hear your body is giving you signs of something good!
The JR said…
She's beautiful. All the babies are so cute.
So glad to hear that you're doing better and what an adorable little girlkid!! Continue to do and feel well!

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