It's the middle of January?

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First of all, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your messages about Sammy. I considered not publishing my post about him, and just mentioning in passing that it happened in some other post, even though it was a very big thing. I've been very open at times on my blog and shared a lot of my deeper feelings, but for some reason writing about him so openly, made me uncomfortable. But I realized closing off the feelings wouldn't be productive either. So I thank each of you for following a long on this journey with me, whether it be happy or sad.

I haven't looked at his pen or even been near it. Jim cleaned it for me but I've yet to decide someone else can use it (he had one of the biggest pens) or that I can even step inside of it. To be honest in some ways I've accepted it's just a fact of life and it's something that has come to pass, but part of me is also blocking the entire thing out. I feel pretty spent right now, physically, emotionally, and mentally. But if I've learned anything it's that I need to remind myself constantly to take one day at a time and one thing at a time... 

The past week has been a complete blur. We've had so many things on the go all at once. I was able to take a short break on the weekend to get some knitting in but it wasn't long enough. Then our router (the 1,000th one) died on us, and I haven't been able to use my laptop. Douglas went back to the Vet for the booster of his lyme vaccine and is doing great, which is the best news ever. He's not only back to his old self, he's even better. He's feeling better than he has in ages. When I've been up working I've been working on candles, lip balms, and lotion bars. I finally have all the needed ingredients to try my hand at my first batch of goats milk soap too, once I find the energy and time. My meds make me tired, but also give me more energy because they make the pain a lot more manageable so it's a funny combo. But it gives me usually a few good hours everyday. I feel some healing taking place and I can for sure look back now over the past 6 months and see the progress and there has been a lot of it.

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I've had fun trying to find just the right packaging, it's still an ongoing process.

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I'm hoping to get a few more candles made this weekend. This one is off to Maine tomorrow :)

I haven't been able to get to the bush at all which is so unusual for me, and also for Kevin. Thankfully he has Jim here to help him in the bush but it's very strange us not logging together. We both miss it and I look forward to getting back to it.

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Kevin is very happy with our new logging sled that was handmade by an Amish fellow we met on our travels..

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They had it out logging one day and it works great.

Kevin brought me back some pictures from his travels in the bush...

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he was lucky enough to see the Owl...

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and also the cutest baby porcupine which I think he should have brought back to the house... is that not just the cutest thing?

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He also caught some evening pictures...

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some beautiful pictures...

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That only winter could give us.

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It did warm up here for a few days, just long enough to melt the top layer of snow and expose all the ice. This is just part of the lane. It's pretty hard to drive around and also, walk. We were hoping if it was going to warm up it would all melt, and a lot did, but not quite enough.

This is one unusual winter here on the farm. We have no deer. It's the strangest winter we've had and a little lonely when we are used to having deer bedding down all around the house every single winter. We have not seen a deer since Christmas Eve. Because of the ice, especially the layer of ice we've had covering the snow, it's almost impossible for the deer to move around so they have all went places to yard up. Unfortunately a lot of deer in this area have done that near roads and there are more deer than usual getting hit by cars right now. It's been a very hard winter on them. If we could get some snow now, and loose some ice, it would be to every one's benefit.

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But the Chihuahua's are fine, and spending these long winter days beside the wood stove in a sunbeam. 

Comments

Terra said…
Your Chihuahuas are living the good life, keeping warm and finding a sunbeam. I like the porcupine and the blue tinged snow photos you took. I think you are making progress in being well and in handling the loss of Sammy. Just one step at a time, that's all we can do.
jaz@octoberfarm said…
i know how hard it is losing sammy. only time will help. that porcupine is so cute! it is just so beautiful where you live! all of our snow is gone but we might get a little bit tonight. we are plunging back into the arctic temps tonight!
Primitive Stars said…
Morning , love the baby Porcupine, so cute and the winter pictures are so pretty.....Your candles are beautiful, bet they smell heavenly to......Take Care, Francine.
I'm glad that you have gotten better or at least to a point where everything is being managed better for you.

It hurt so much when I lost Fooler that I almost didn't post. But, then I got some of the sweetest comments I was glad that I did.

Good that Douglas is doing so much better now too.

Love seeing all your products!

Last night on the way home from shopping there was a dead deer next not 1/4 mile on the road from our house. This morning a buck was in the road on my way to work.
I'm really glad you posted about Sammy because I think it does help in the healing process to get your thoughts out and share them with others. I'm happy to hear that Douglas is doing well! Great news. It's wonderful that you can see measured improvement in your health now that you are a while out from your surgery. It will only continue to get better from here!
Dreaming said…
The baby porcupine is darling! We saw a baby raccoon last night - he stood his ground on the road (luckily not well traveled) until I got out of the car a shooed him away by shaking a magazine. He hopped across the road comically, and had both of us giggling.
I was sorry to read about Sammy. It always hurts. He certainly was lucky and had more life than he would have in any other circumstance.
I am so glad that you are able to look back and see healing for yourself. That is fantastic! May the coming year bring even more changes and good health!
Looks like you've been keeping very busy. The baby porcupine is adorable! Beautiful photos.
Our winter here in the middle of the Canadian prairies has been nothing short of brutal. I think since the beginning of December we have had only 2 melty days. The rest is brutal cold and storms. I am glad to hear you are healing and feeling better day by day! I for one am glad you posted about Sammy. Not only did you honor his memory, but I think that post is his tribute. A beautiful one at that! Take care!
Mary Ann said…
The "blue hour" pictures are wonderful... but I love the owl and the porcupine, too!
I wonder why the baby porcupine was out alone!! Hope he knew where he was and what he was doing. When the time is right, another love of yours will take Sammy's space and I bet Sammy will be very happy to share his place with another!
Continue to heal!
Oh, that's a beautiful crafted red logging sled. The little porcupine is soooo cute...too bad you can't keep him (of course you wouldn't).

N

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